


Earthly Tether

by megamegaturtle



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Feels, Buddhism, Coming of Age, F/M, Gen, The Course of True Love (and First Dates)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-07
Updated: 2015-05-02
Packaged: 2018-03-21 17:33:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3700951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/megamegaturtle/pseuds/megamegaturtle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Monk!AU.  When he had to let her go so that he could focus on his path to enlightenment, she supported him. Now, almost a year and half later, he changes paths again. But life is more than finding true love. Sometimes its about finding yourself too. Kataang.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> While I did look up rules, customs, and schedules about Tibetan Buddhism, in no way is the type of Buddhism in the story a perfect representation, but it was my source material.

Katara felt surreal. It had been a little under a year and half when he politely asked her to stay out of his life, but yesterday he had called wishing to see her. So, now she was driving over two hours away to a monastery deep in the mountains. 

Thinking back on the day he turned her away, his words echoed in her head--his voice oddly stoic over the phone. He said that their relationship was a distraction and it left him feeling too conflicted to focus on his path. That night, she wept. And she wept the nights, weeks, and months after his rejection, but she couldn’t blame him.

He sought to be spiritually awakened, to be liberated--to find the enlightenment that eluded most, but she was a restriction, an earthly tether to his freedom.

The moment they met, she tied a rope around his ankle, inhibiting his ability to soar. But neither of them knew at the time. They were far too young: he was twelve and she was fourteen.

Yet he gave her wings, gave her hope for a better future-a future where being motherless didn't define her. Dressed in yellow and orange robes like a spirit from another era, he comforted her when she felt hopeless, listened to her when everyone became deaf at her voice. For the first time in forever, someone noticed her for Katara so she hugged him so tight, so tight that he couldn’t breathe. The world couldn't all be bad when his existence promised that there was still good in world.

That was the start of their friendship. They wrote letters, e-mails, and called each other as often as they could. He consoled her when she was left heartbroken by ex-boyfriends or when being a normal teenage kid got too tough. She provided him a second home with her family so he wouldn’t feel so alone in the world when the other boys his age went home during holidays. Despite that she wasn’t actually a Buddhist, in the summers, she would come for a spiritual retreat to learn more about herself and their friendship only bloomed more beautifully. He told her in secret once that while he was taught to not to show favoritism towards any of the seasons, summer and winter were always his favorites.

Days before he severed their friendship, she had time to finally visit him. The last time she saw him was three months prior and both were looking forward to catching up. It started innocently enough, going on a walk to enjoy nature and the surrounding area, but they got lost and trapped in the cave. In the darkness, in the fear, in the other-worldliness, he kissed her. It was brief, the barest of touches on her lips, but it seared her skin.

Even now, she was able to remember the way he felt hot, his heat radiating in the cave like a small fire. They were so close that she could smell the sandalwood smoke that clung to his robes. And all the feelings she tried ignoring for so long lit up that cave. His feelings glimmered in the darkness too, but as she learned, that didn't make everything perfect--because they both knew it wasn't.

As the familiar and old monastery walls came into view, Katara took deep breaths to calm herself. His call had worried her, but at the same time, the prospect at seeing him again did little for her nerves. Their relationship was so complicated now, confusing and overwhelming. She parked the car in a dirt lot near the entrance and got out quickly, afraid that she would run away if she had time to rethink seeing him again.

Marching forward inside, she was pleasantly surprised when reacquainted by the simple beauty of the monastery. The buildings were humbly built with wood surrounded by bright green trees. Flowers lined the walkways of different colors of yellows, reds, and whites. Though it was very quiet, it was peaceful rather than foreboding. At her attempts at erasing so much history, she must have erased this too.

“Katara, is that you, dear?”

Katara whirled around to see Abbot Gyatso standing in a doorway, a curious look upon his wrinkled face. She swallowed thick, "Yes." 

He motioned for her to come up on the raised walkway. She nodded and took off her shoes before stepping onto the wood. She bowed her head slightly, somewhat in shame that it had been so long, and in part that she greatly respected the man in front of her.

She heard his footsteps creak on the floorboards and felt his hands grasp her face. Every so gently, he bumped his forehead with hers and she couldn’t help but return the warm smile that he wore.

Embracing her in a quick, but grandfatherly hug, his smile never faded, “It’s been far too long, my dear. Are you well?”

Katara’s grin couldn’t fade either, “Yes, Abbot. I’m doing well. I actually graduated from university last year.”

“Yes, I remember. Your Gran-Gran sent us an announcement.”

She chuckled, “I feel like Gran-Gran sent them to everyone. But, I’m doing a great internship in one of the big hospitals in the city.”

He looked her shoulder and his face became slightly somber, but he remained cheerful, “You’ll have to tell me about it another time. It seems like there is someone waiting for you.”

She peeked over her shoulder to see that Aang was walking towards her. Snapping her gaze back, she tried her best to keep her heart calm and not have her anxieties become transparent on her face. Abbot Gyatso gave her a reassuring nod before walking away, intending to give them some privacy.

Taking a deep breath, Katara turned around. For the first time, in under a year and a half, she was finally face-to-face with Aang.

“You look well,” she started, her mouth dry. He wore the traditional yellow, red, and orange robes of a novice monk, but he seemed much older than she remembered. His shoulders were a bit boarder, his jaw more defined, and he was most definitely taller.

He nodded and replied in an even tone, “Thank you. So do you.” In what used to be a joyous greeting filled with hugs and laughter, was now distant and formal. He gestured for her to follow him. They walked in silence, creaking floorboards sounding extra loud in the tension.

After a few moments, Aang spoke up, “Would you like any tea?”

“Sure, that sounds good,” she said. Looking at him briefly, she pointed to gardens to the side of them, “I’ll go find a bench under a shady tree for us then.”

As she was turning, her foot slipped as it was sweating from nervousness. While she braced herself to smack the wood, she never fell.

Aang grabbed her by the waist, but steadied her quickly, “Be more careful, okay? I’ll be right back.” With that, she was left alone.

Her heart was still beating erratically in her chest. While he was out of view, she noticed that she could still run away. What did he have to say that was so important now? Was he going to apologize for hurting her? Sighing, Katara knew that running away would not change the past. She might as well stay and listen to whatever he wanted to say. Despite everything, he was still very dear to her heart.

It wasn’t too long after she found a spot under a nice shady maple tree that he found her, carrying a teapot and two cups. "The benches are nice. Are they new?"

As he was settling himself on the bench, the simple cups tinged on the wooden surface. "A bit new. A few were donated, but I built most of them with some high school volunteers in the winter."

He handed her a cup of hot tea. It smelled liked roses: her favorite. She smiled slightly as she blew the steam away, "They must had been shocked when they saw you. Thought you'd be some old guy."

Aang let out a dry laugh, "Yeah. Couldn't believe someone close to their age would ever choose this life." The weight of his word hung in the air, the subtext very clear. The tension that was with them on the walkway crept into the silence under the maple tree. There was no escape and he couldn't avoid why he called her here for much longer. They both knew it. 

"So," she began as she sipped her tea, "what do you need to talk about?"

He left his cup untouched, but instead had his eyes focused intensely on a small pebble. After a few moments, he spoke up, his voice low, "In a few days, I'm going to be ordained as a full monk."

Her heart sank deep inside her chest, feeling like it was breaking all over again. "Congrats," she managed a weak smile, "You've worked very hard for this."

He nodded, "Yeah, I have. Thanks."

Though they only sat a few inches apart, it felt like miles were between them. "Do you think I'm doing the right thing?"

She furrowed her brows defensively, "Is that why you asked me here? Thinking that I would try to stop you?" She could feel her voice getting progressively louder.

"What? No! Of course not!" He answered. "I just wanted to see you."

Pinching the bridge of her nose, Katara slumped where she sat, "Why do you have to do that?

He looked at her inquisitively, "Do what?"

Sighing, she let her arms fall to her sides, "Be you." Before he could ask any more questions, she continued, "As for your question, it doesn't matter what I think."

He protested, "Katara, that's not true."

Katara turned and looked at him. Staring at him, she was surprised by how much had changed between them. Also, how obvious that they were no longer children, but adults. It still all felt surreal. "No, Aang. It doesn't. Not about this." She jabbed a finger at his chest, over his heart, "This is about you and your life and what you think is right.

"Whatever," she paused, to mull the words over in her mouth, "whatever you choose to do, just know that I will support you, okay?"

But much like a child, he vulnerably asked, "Promise?"

Her lips twitched, "Of course. We’ll always--- always be friends."

"Yeah," he breathed, "I'm glad."

She nodded her head, "Me too."

This time as silence crept over them, it wasn't as uncomfortable as before. Though her heart still hurt and ached, what mattered most was that he was happy. And being in a relationship with her was not part of his criteria for happiness, it seemed.

After some time, Katara stood and brush her hands on her jeans, "Well, I think its about time I head out."

"Yeah, you have a bit of drive, huh? I'll walk you to your car."

She held up her hand, "There's no need, I want to walk around for bit before I go." She pointed to her legs, "Stretch my legs and all."

"Are you sure?"

She smiled, "Yeah, I'm sure. Just call me after the ceremony, okay? I want to know how it goes."

Aang nodded and smiled back, "Of course. I promise."

She gave him a quick hug as a goodbye and started walking towards her car, but then he called after her. She turned around, seeing him look nervous, "Yes?"

His grey eyes seemed bright and his voice was gentle, "I was really happy that time, you know?"

Her breath caught, but she nodded her, "I know." 

"Okay. I just wanted you to know."

Tears began to prick at her eyes, "I do. Thank you," she whispered. 

Once she was alone in her car, she broke down. Each sob she heaved reaffirmed that no matter how she loved him, it wasn’t meant to be.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Monk!AU. When he had to let her go so that he could focus on his path to enlightenment, she supported him. Now, almost a year and half later, he changes paths again. But life is more than finding true love. Sometimes its about finding yourself too. Kataang.

Katara lived in a two story house covered with cream stucco and blue trimming. The shutters were slightly bluer than the trimming, but what was most stunning was the big two pane front door made out of dark wood. In the center was a beautiful metalwork and glass made to look like waves. Mounted happily next to the door hung a friendly welcome sign.

Aang gulped nervously from where he stood on the sidewalk as he gazed up at the house.  Was he truly ready to spend an entire week here for Katara’s spring break? While this wasn’t his first sleepover in his thirteen years of life, this was his first one at a girl’s house. What if there were different rules? His stomach tied itself into a million knots at all the different questions he had.

But most importantly, he wondered aloud, “What if your family hates me?”

Katara paused from where she stood on the pathway leading up to her house and hastily whirled around to retrieve him.  Laughing, her cool hand grabbed his sweaty one, “Aang, my family won’t hate you! They’re going to love you!”

“But how can you be so sure? They barely know me,” he whispered worriedly. Families were always a foreign concept for him as he didn’t have a proper one of his own. What if he didn’t fit in?

Still smiling, she tugged him along for him to follow, “Don’t be silly! They’ve talked to you on the phone plenty of times and they’ve met you when I visit you.” She squeezed his hand reassuringly, “Besides, they know how we’re like best friends.”

Feeling more confident, the young monk-in-training couldn’t help but match her smile, “Yeah, you’re right.”  

With a few quick steps, they were already through the front door when Katara loudly announced their arrival.  Aang surveyed the open floor plan of the first floor and already noticed an elderly woman walking towards them from the kitchen area. With a wrinkly face, but warm blue eyes, she promptly embraced him in a tight hug.

“Good to see you again, Aang,” Gran-Gran said as she held him close. “Was your trip okay? Are you hungry?”

He laughed, “It’s good to see you too, Gran-Gran.” Pulling out of her embrace, he placed his bag near the large couch, “The bus ride was fine, but I’d like some water, please.”

She smiled broadly and playfully pinched his cheeks, “It’s nice for a young man to have some manners.”

As Gran-Gran was exiting, Katara’s older brother Sokka ran down from upstairs, shouting, “Katara, is your holy boyfriend here yet?”

Aang felt his cheeks redden at such a proclamation yet couldn’t help but giggle when he saw Katara face-palm her forehead.  She took a calming breath, but instead of engaging her brother she wandered after her grandmother.

Once he reached the bottom of the stairs, Sokka held his fist out for Aang to bump, “Hey dude!” the older boy began, “It’s been a while. You’ll be rooming with me.” As Sokka grabbed Aang’s small suitcase, the two boys started up the stairs, “I’ll try not to corrupt you too much,” he teased.

“Sokka!” they heard Katara yell from the kitchen, but both boys laughed.

By the end of the trip, Aang knew—without a doubt—that he was part of the family.

  



	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Monk!AU. When he had to let her go so that he could focus on his path to enlightenment, she supported him. Now, almost a year and half later, he changes paths again. But life is more than finding true love. Sometimes its about finding yourself too. Kataang.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More information on the Four Immeasurables Prayer: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brahmavihara

“What do you mean _you’re not going to become a monk_?”

The kettle screeched in the background for the morning tea, but no man near the kitchen hurried to fetch it. Newspapers were laid flat against the low rising tables and conversations ceased. Both seasoned men and young boys watched with disbelief as the Order’s prime candidate for leadership recanted his intentions.

Aang wanted to retreat–to run away, but he refused to waver. Crossing the threshold of the doorway into the dining room, he continued, “I’m sorry, High Abbott Tashi, but I won’t do it.”

To right of him, he heard Gyatso–his mentor–call his name, but Tashi rose from his table angrily, “What do you mean you won’t do it?” For an old man who promoted peace, Tashi was always quick to anger. With a face turning red, the old man spat out, “It’s because of that woman, isn’t it? She most likely seduced—”

Aang snapped back defensively, “How dare you speak of Katara that way! You never liked her–”

Yet the High Abbott wouldn’t be intimated from such rhetoric, he crossed the room until he was arms’ length away, “Oh, I know her kind. Those women who fetishize and sexualize men like us and try to make us unchaste.”

Fetishize? Sexualize? The words assaulted Aang to his core, without knowing the way to truly articulate the growing anger bubbling inside of him. To think that anyone in their right mind would attempt to describe Katara as some sexual deviant that preyed upon any men–let alone Buddhist monks! Even the idea itself burned him like acid. Yet, the novice monk could feel his arm rearing back, almost like it wanted to punch the crass old man in front of him. Before he could though, Aang felt a familiar hand upon his shoulder. 

Looking down, Gyatso’s somber gazed sobered him. His mentor turned his line of sight to the High Abbot and spoke in a calm voice, “I think I have some things to discuss with my pupil.” Letting go of Aang’s shoulder, Gyatso spoke to other men in the room cheerfully, “I hope everyone enjoys their breakfast.” With that, he exited the room.

While he could hear the High Abbott muttering under his breath, Aang followed after his mentor–refusing to meet anyone’s eye. As he again crossed the threshold, what was once confidence diminished to shame and frustration. Was he about to resort to violence against the High Abbott?

Creaking floorboards echoed through the now empty halls as Gyatso led them both towards his bedroom. Aang was so lost in thought–reflecting over his actions–that he only realized they met their destination once his mentor clicked the door closed. He fell down onto the bed–the scent of tobacco and flour comforting as it reminded him of childhood. Those nights where storms were scary and he would curl up next to Gyatso to feel safe. Or the days when he would wake up really early, but instead of waking up his friends, he would pounce on his mentor instead to his wake-up call. 

He heard Gyatso chuckle as he opened the screen door revealing a view of the garden. A gentle breeze kissed their skin, “I haven’t seen you collapse on my bed like that in years,” he remarked, but his smile was gentle. “You even still have your famous childhood pout.”

Closing his eyes, Aang tossed an arm over them to drown out all light, “Well, I haven’t been a child for some years, you know.”

The edge of the bed shifted as the Abbott sat down, “Well, I don’t know about that. You were quite childish in the dining room just now.”

The entire morning from when he woke up to the event that transpired minutes earlier replayed in Aang’s mind for what felt like the thousandth time. From the moment he awoke this morning, dread settled in his stomach like poisonous lead, weighing him down. It started with a dream he could barely remember, but he knew that it didn’t end well. All he could remember was watching a woman–apparently the love of his life–having sex with another man. This dream became the catalyst to unearth every negative emotion and thought that he had bottled up for the last approximate year and a half.

The novice monk sighed, but did not move from where he laid, “You’re right.” With his admittance, he continued, “That was childish of me, but I was serious.” 

Gyatso patted his calf, “I know. You still need to apologize for your behavior though.” His pupil whined, but Gyatso let it pass, “Do you want to mediate together? Maybe help clear your head?”

Aang propped himself onto his elbows, “I’d love to, but I’ve been so messed up lately I can’t even mediate.” Flopping down on the bed, he went on dramatically, “I can’t do any of this, Gyatso. I just can’t.”

“Well, let’s talk about it. A good old fashioned confessional.”

Aang let out a dry laugh, “Usually, I love your jokes, but for today can I just vent like a normal kid?” His mentor opened his mouth, but Aang rushed, rolling his eyes, “Yes, I admitted it. You’ve been right all along.”

Patting his leg again and hiding his smile, his mentor stood and motioned for his pupil to come to join him on the walkway outside. Together they settled themselves unto the hardwood walkway and dangled their feet above the flowers and dirt down below. Soft flower petals tickle the soles of Aang’s feet.

“I was so close to punching Tashi straight in his smug face,” Aang began, “Making Katara out to be like she was monk man-eater…”

“That should be on a t-shirt: monk man-eater,” Gyatso laughed, but stopped when he saw his pupil’s glare. He cleared his throat, “Okay, but on a serious note, are you leaving for Katara?”

Was he? It seemed like it. Until he saw her a month ago, Aang was living a perfectly detached life from the world. Accepting pleasures when they came, but overall, living as a monk should. He was ready to take the next step and become ordained. He could live his life out doing what was expected of him contently. But after seeing Katara, all the dreams, hopes, and feelings got stirred up so quickly–like a twister–that he didn’t know which way was up anymore. Not only that, but seeing her reminded him of the past–of the younger self who wanted so badly to be with her, but was unsure about his future. Though he was older now, he was still unsure about his future and what it all meant. 

Before them, little squirrels ran back and forth, searching for nuts or playing. Song birds sang, but in the distance, the bells chimed to signify morning prayer and text recitation and memorization started. The halls creaked again with the young boys and men heading to the classroom, to press forward with their path of enlightenment. Before he made his intentions clear, Aang would shuffle with the rest of them and would have taken his usual seat near a window at the back of the room. From there he could survey everyone, but also enjoy nature outside. Today, Teacher Choden taught and would begin with the Four Immeasurable Thoughts prayer. As if clockwork, Aang mumbled:

_May all sentient beings have happiness and the causes of happiness;_

_May all sentient beings be free from suffering and the causes of suffering;_

_May all sentient beings never be separated from the happiness that knows no suffering;_

_May all sentient beings live in equanimity, free from attachment and aversion._

“Aang?”

Gyatso’s voice broke his concentration, stopping him for continuing to the next prayer that Teacher Choden would most likely recite. Aang only knew this because he had studied under the teacher for most of his life. And if he stopped from becoming a monk, it was this familiarity that he would be giving up. Aang knew his life here and he knew what his life as a monk would entail. What was unknown was the life outside the monastery walls. What would be his new vocation or life’s path now? He didn’t know. Furthermore, the question if whether or not he was leaving his life behind for Katara still hung in the air.

Aang shook his head, “No, I’m not doing this for her. I’m not leaving the monastery for Katara.”

“Aang,” his mentor began, “You don’t have to lie. Plenty of men have left for a woman–some just as devoted as you.”

The pupil sighed, not surprised his mentor didn’t believe him, “I’m really not leaving for her or because I’m planning on being with Katara.” Turning to face the old man, he continued, “But I am leaving because of her.”

Gyatso furrowed his brows, “What do you mean?”

“Of course, I’m in love with Katara. I’m very much in love with her,” the novice monk said, his voice barely above a whisper. An image as she was leaving after he told her was going to become a monk crossed his mind, the heartbroken look in her eyes. His hands felt sweaty against the wood, his heart constricting as he confessed his feelings, “But I’m leaving because she reminded how unhappy I was here. I don’t want this life. I didn’t choose his life.

Gyatso was going to say something, but Aang spoke over him, “Do you remember how I was applying to go to college about a year and a half ago?” His mentor nodded, “Well, I was still a little unsure, but Katara helped me. And I’ve never told you this, but she and I kissed that during her last real visit–not this passed one, but the one before that.” He wore the faintest smile, his heart skipping a beat as he remembered how she returned his kiss, “At the time, I really was going to leave to be with her. Our feelings were mutual and college seemed like a reasonable option, but I overheard a conversation with one of the Higher Abbotts from the Order…”

“…that you were wanted to lead the Order one day,” Gyatso finished. His eyes widened, “That’s why you turned Katara away–why you suddenly became so serious about becoming an ordained monk…” He became quiet as connected all the dots.

The secret was out. He felt a weight start to lift from his soul. He was choosing monkhood as a duty to his people, to the ones who raised him, instead of personal happiness. He was going to give up the love of his life and the decision to choose his own path as an obligation. He finally told someone the truth.

“Yeah, and I thought I could do it too.” He drew his knees to his chest, “I let go of everything–became unattached, became basically numb. I thought I would be able to handle seeing her again…” His voice hitched in his throat, “But I was wrong. Seeing her unraveled me and reminded to me how much of a lie I was living.

“I can’t find enlightenment here–I just can’t. I’m so unhappy, words cannot describe how unhappy I am,” he choked out. Becoming a monk meant becoming trapped and the idea poisoned him everyday. He needed out. Tears began to prick at his eyes, “It isn’t going to be easy, but I need to find a new path–one that makes me happy and it has to be one that I choose.” He sobbed a bit, “…but it’s not here and it’s not with you.”

His mentor quickly wrapped an arm around him, “Things will be different, you’re right, but you’d never lose me, Aang.” He squeezed a little tighter, “I will always love you, my child. Nothing could ever separate us.”

A comfortable silence passed between them. Aang wiped his tears, but smiled, “I know, I know. And I will always love you too.”

Transition was not easy, but it had to be done. But there was comfort in knowing that bonds that he had with Gyatso wouldn’t change. Much like his bond with Katara, it was strong and would last a lifetime. Fondness touched his heart knowing that the two people he cared most about in the world would always supported him in one way or another.

After a few moments, his mentor stood up and stretched his back, “But the good news at least is that maybe you can finally be with Katara now.” Winking, he added, “I’ve always liked her, you know.”

Aang got up as well, “Yeah, that would be awesome if I could date Katara, but let’s get my life order first.” Regretfully, he shared, “Besides, I guess she started seeing this guy.”

Gyatso’s jaw dropped, “What? How do you know?”

Aang walked back into his mentor’s room, stealing an orange left on the nightstand, “We talk now so she told me. I think it’s karma coming back to me for screwing everything, lying, and breaking her heart.” Peeling the orange, the juices stung his dry fingers, “Not like I don’t deserve it, but I have to get my life in order before I figure out a love-life.”

With a wry smile, his mentor quipped, “Well, I’m still betting on Team Monk Man-eater Katara.”

Aang choked on the orange he was chewing. After painfully swallowing, he asked, “Seriously, where do you hear these things? You’re supposed to be old and a monk.” As he chewed, if he had to be honest with himself, a part of him still hoped that Katara would have him, but he wasn’t going to push it. He already knew how much he hurt her.

“Just because I’m old and a monk doesn’t mean I don’t have access to the internet,” he gestured to the laptop not too far from his bed.

Aang shrugged his shoulder, finding that he couldn’t argue with that. After finishing the orange, he tossed it in the bin. “Thanks for everything, Gyatso. I mean it.” He rubbed the back of his head and puffed out a breath of air, “I guess I need to start packing.”

Gyatso clapped him on the back, “I’ll come help you.”

Both men left the room and wandered slowly towards Aang’s bedroom. On the way, he knew exactly who he was going to call first, but it wouldn’t be Katara.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Monk!AU. When he had to let her go so that he could focus on his path to enlightenment, she supported him. Now, almost a year and half later, he changes paths again. But life is more than finding true love. Sometimes its about finding yourself too. Kataang.

He sat on a bench in the garden, wanting to linger a little longer. This place with simple wooden buildings, endless flowers, and old trees had been his home for all of his life. While for most, home had a mom and dad, he had a family built on the bonds at an old monastery in the south. The afternoon sun began dipping west. As day transitioned into night, so was this part of his life. 

The leaves shook as a spring breeze blew. He breathed deep, trying to store every detail that what would be his old life because honestly, everything was changing too quickly and made his head spin. After admitting his lies to his mentor, it only took an hour to pack up all of his belongings with Gyatso’s help, but Aang never had many things. Though the room he had since he was a child had always been plain, it was now empty and eerie. Packing was the easy part, he realized. The hard part was saying good-bye. 

The little ones didn’t take it well–didn’t understand why he was leaving as it was all too sudden. In the last moments of wearing familiar orange and yellow robes, he tried his best to comfort little faces covered in snot and tears. The older boys took it much easier as men were always leaving, but he could tell that they didn’t believe that his absence would be permanent. Though men left, some always found their way back. But he wouldn’t be like those before him who took their vows only to renounce them to take them again. This was goodbye after all.

While he felt touched by how much the little boys and his peers would miss him, saying goodbye to all of his teachers and the elders hurt the most. Teacher Choden, a man known for his calm demeanor, hugged him tight and whispered a choked out goodbye. Then there was Monk Milu, the man who taught him how to play the flute, only shook his hand, but gave him a parting gift: the wooden flute his father made and Milu’s most prized possession. Some mentors hugged and cried just like the little ones while some were still furious at him because they still considered it to be too rash of a decision. When it came to say goodbye to the High Abbott, his stomach was in knots due to the argument from the morning. 

“You’ll always have a place here,” the usually grumpy monk said. He pulled him into an awkward hug, “So, don’t forget this is your home.” But there was no anger or falsehood in his voice, just the tender feelings the man always tried to hide.

Most of his goodbyes were said and Aang sat waiting for his ride. Though he was relieved to start over, change was daunting. He traded in robes for a simple orange t-shirt and jeans, but it was slightly uncomfortable. But some things didn’t change, like Gyatso’s warm smile as he joined him on the bench.

“You’re going to have ask Bumi to take you shopping for new duds when you get to the city,” he fussed. “That shirt is so out of fashion.”

Aang looked down at the shirt in question, he asked defensively, “What’s wrong with this shirt? Katara bought me this shirt–”

“Aang, she bought you that shirt when you were seventeen. I’m surprised it still fits!”

The young man let out an exasperated sigh, “What do you know about fashion? You’ve been wearing robes for over forty years now!”

Gyatso let out a belly laugh, “I’m more attuned with pop culture than you think!”

Under his breath, he could only mutter, “No kidding.” He still couldn’t get over the fact that his mentor had a blog–he didn’t even have a blog!

Checking his phone for the time, Aang realized that his ride would be there any minute. Both men started walking towards the parking lot to go wait by his few belongings. Silence wasn’t unusual between them, but it only reminded him how real his choice was now. There would be no Gyatso to welcome him home where he was going.

The old man wrapped an arm around his shoulders as they walked, “This isn’t goodbye, Aang.”

His throat became thick and all the feelings from the morning came rushing back, “Then why does it feel like it is?”

“Because change is scary, but I’m so proud of you, my child. So proud.” He saw his mentor wipe a tear from his eye, but they kept walking to the pick up area.

Aang nodded his head a silent thank you, “Do you think I can do this?”

With watery eyes, but a grin, he nodded, “You’re going to do great things.” Wiping his eyes again, he cleared his voice, “Anyway, I’m going to call the Order’s culture group. We have a department with our government in the city and maybe I can get you an internship there.”

Aang’s jaw dropped, “That would be amazing. Thank you.”

They didn’t stand long in the parking lot as Bumi’s green truck came into view, honking to signal his arrival. Though it was short notice, he was thankful that Bumi was able to pick him up. But, it seemed like he wasn’t alone.

Aang started walking over to them, but he was definitely in a better mood, “Kuzon, I didn’t know you were coming!”

As Kuzon and Bumi slid out of the truck laughing. Bumi mocked hurt, but his smile never faded, “Hey, I’m the one who dropped my plans to come get you! Where is my big hello?”

Aang laughed with them and grabbed both of them into a big hug, “Seriously guys–you’re like my best buds. Thanks for coming all the way out here to come get me.”

Kuzon smoothed his black hair and shot a mischievous look over at Bumi, “You know we were wondering exactly why you called us…”

Bumi tried not to laugh, but he failed and snorted, “Yeah, dad! How come you couldn’t just call mom and have her pick you up.”

Aang’s face turned red, “I was going to tell Katara later…” Quickly, he added, “By the way, don’t call Katara and me that–we’re not your parents!”

His friends exchanged another look between the two of them, yet he couldn’t exactly figure out what they were scheming. As they started to put his suitcase and a few boxes in the bed of the truck, Kuzon casually dropped, “Oh yeah, Aang. I have something to tell you.”

Putting the last box in the bed, he asked, but he had a feeling he wouldn’t like it, “What?”

“I just texted Katara with news about your new bachelor status.”

He did what? His eyes went wide and his heart dropped. This was not good. He already had a plan on how he was going to break the news to Katara, but Kuzon just had to play tricks on him…

Before Aang could yell at his friends, his phone went off–ringing with Katara’s ringtone. Gyatso barked out another laugh, “You’d better answer that, boy. Hopefully, she won’t be too upset.”

Despite that his life really was changing, it was good to know that somethings would always remain the same. He still had friends who cared about him and a family waiting to welcome him home. Plus, it didn’t hurt to know that Katara still fussed over him in an instant. Just because his life was changing didn’t mean that his relationships needed to be forgotten. And for that, he smiled.

“Hi, Katara. Don’t panic–everything is fine–”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Monk!AU. When he had to let her go so that he could focus on his path to enlightenment, she supported him. Now, almost a year and half later, he changes paths again. But life is more than finding true love. Sometimes its about finding yourself too. Kataang.

The bar was crowded for the usual happy hour two buck pitchers and half off hot wings promotion. All the servers and bartenders remained perky and unfazed when tables began cheering wildly for the hockey match on the large projection screens. Despite that the players on the ice would never hear the cheers from the sports bar, but that didn’t stop the fans’ merriment. A player from the red team punched someone in green and as the bar got up again to start shouting so did Sokka. He was up and out of his seat, hollering and cursing with the rest of them when the red player got put in the penalty box for two minutes. Katara rolled her eyes, somewhat annoyed by her brother’s reaction yet couldn’t help but find it amusing that he was so passionate. She chugged the rest of her beer that she was babysitting for the last hour, the warm and sour hops not going down smoothly.

“Do you want another one?” Sokka asked as he settled himself down on his bar stool.

She tapped her fingers against the scuffed table top as she decided, “Eh, I’ll have either an AMF or a Long Island--whichever one is better here.”

His brows shot up in surprise, “Geez, you weren’t kidding when you said wanted to drink tonight.”

“Well, why do you think I asked you to dive?” She teased. Resting an elbow on the table, she cupped her face in her hand, she felt drained, “But seriously--all I want is good drinks, good hot wings, and good company.”

Katara’s phone buzzed and her brother noticed a similar grin, “While I’m flattered that enjoy my company so much, little sister,” he joked, “but wouldn’t Aang be better company?”

“Oh, we’re just getting lunch,” she said as she texted back her reply. After a moment, she punched him in the arm, “Besides, he still thinks I have a boyfriend because someone stole my phone and told him that.”

“And you’ve had plenty of time to tell him the truth,” he pointed out. He laughed more at his sister’s reddening complexion, “Hey, at least he isn’t going to be a monk anymore. Maybe that text did more good that I thought.”

But that type of thinking was dangerous and it reminded her of all the things she wanted to forget again--move on from. Remembering the confirmation of what couldn’t be, her chest constricted and she felt sick to her stomach, only to now to have something be an option. She felt like she couldn’t breathe--his confession when they met last month rang in her ears (I was happy that time) becoming bile in her throat.

She took a deep breath, trying not to get angry at her brother, “Aang did not quit his vocation for me.” Rubbing her temples, she cut him off, “I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”

Sokka backed off, knowing what buttons not to push. The bar was in an uproar again, cheering and chanting for their favorite as the refs called a tie-breaker. He flagged down the waitress to order more drinks and hot wings and Katara’s phone buzzed again, flashing that Aang texted her back with a confirmation for a time and a date. And the question Katara had been burying since she heard about Aang bubbled out of her mouth.

“Sokka, what am I doing with my life?”

The waitress dropped off the wings and drinks, but neither of them reached for the food.

He swallowed thick, “What do you mean?”

“Maybe Aang has the right idea--maybe what we’re doing isn’t what we’re supposed to be doing, you know?”

Her brother pressed his lips into a firm line, “But you want to be a doctor. That’s why you have that internship at the hospital before med school.”

She nodded her head with agreement, she did have an internship at the hospital, “But what if I’m not meant to be a doctor. And Aang wanted to be a monk so badly, he even--” _He even severed our friendship_ , she wanted to say but that still stung to say aloud.

“Katara, you are so smart and you care about people. Of course this is your calling!” He pulled her into a brotherly hug, “And besides, you’re not Aang. You’re Katara and you got your head screwed on right.”

She shook her head, “I know I’m not him, but he just got me thinking, Sokka. What if I’m not doing the right thing? Doctors aren’t personal enough with their patients and nurses can’t make enough decisions. And it drives me crazy...”

Silence fell over the two of them again. Sokka gingerly ate some chicken as she slowly sipped her drink---a Long Island. Like her drink’s name, her days were long and she just felt unsure now with all the added stress. The bar exploded with yelling as the local favorite hockey lost. On the screen, the green team’s fan danced and scream with excitement with the win, but the atmosphere in the bar matched that of the siblings table: tense.

Her brother laced his fingers together on the table and looked at her seriously. After a few seconds, he tossed out, “Okay, so you might not want to be a doctor,” he stated. “You really liked politics--remember all those protests? That one for that neighborhood gentrification was insane.”

She nodded her head again, feeling her hands absentmindedly play with her hair as she remembered her protesting days when she was in college. They started off small, usually about how wages were unfair to university service workers and also lacked benefits. But she joined them because she wanted to do the right thing and make things just for those that deserved it. But the protest that her brother mentioned, the one of the neighborhood gentrification was both the worst and best time of her life.

It all began when she joined a campaign for better renters’ laws. It didn’t take long for her to become invested after meeting the families in her university community who were losing their homes. The mother that led the fight told her about their rent had tripled in such a short amount of time; that people were being evicted because they fell behind on payments; that improvement of their neighborhood didn’t include the families that gave it culture.

Katara remembered all the sleepless nights she spent making signs, writing speeches, and encouraging the other volunteers. All the benefits and fundraisers to help the families that were affected by things modernizing without them. She remembered all town and council meetings she sat on to persuade people in authority to get a law on the yearly ballot so that landlords couldn’t raise prices so quickly and for better treatment for renters.

It was a long and grueling process but it was so worth it once the law passed and future families would be getting better treatment. Renters finally had more stability and agency with their landlords. It wasn’t perfect, but it was a start. And she still got emails and thank you notes from many in the community. They had also been some of the happiest people for her when she told them that she wanted to be a doctor--so proud that she was going to do something great with her life.

She banged her head on the table, “But I still like medicine…”

“Oh my god, Katara,” she heard her brother face palm himself. Lifting her head from the table, she saw the bright red mark on his forehead, “Look, you still liking medicine is a good sign. Figuring out your life takes time.”

“Can I just have some fortune teller come and tell me my entire future? And I mean everything to the point where they tells me that I’ll die peacefully in my sleep after the birth of my third-great grandchild?” she whined.

Her brother resisted the urge to smack his forehead again, “No one can predict the future.” He pulled her into another hug, “But whatever you want to do, just know I got your back.”

She hugged him back, a little harder than she intended, but they both just laughed. They both finished up the their food and drinks. They chatted about how Sokka was now shadowing one of the best engineers at his firm--some man they call “the Machinist”; about Toph’s new blind self-defense class; how Zuko was finishing up his MA in Social Work; and about how Suki went up a new belt and was now a qualified teacher of her martial arts’ type.

Sokka paid the tab and the pair were making their way to the door. The two turned around when someone called Katara’s name, but she was pleasantly surprised when she saw who it was.

“Sangok!” She exclaimed happily as she hugged him, “What are you doing down here in the city?”

He bashfully grinned, “I’m just celebrating with some cousins. I just got transferred here!”

Sokka bobbed his head with approval, “Congrats, man. What do you do?”

Reaching into his back pocket, Sangok fiddled with a business card holder, “I’m a new junior accountant for MSF!”

Both siblings looked at each other, wondering if the other one knew what he was talking about.

“Oh!” Awkwardly, he cleared his throat as he handed him his new business card, “Sorry, it’s Médecins Sans Frontières or Doctors Without Borders…”

Katara ran her thumb over the raised letters on the card stock, impressed by the minimalist design, “That is so cool,” she breathed.

Sangok smiled, “Thanks, I’m really excited.” Some voices from the bar called for him, “But I got to go, but it was great running into you both! Maybe we can eat some good tribe food together, soon?”

Sokka grabbed his hand and brought him into a man hug, “Sure, dude. I can always eat stewed sea prunes.”

Katara gave him another hug, “Thanks for the business card. They look great.”

They parted ways and Katara slunk down into the passenger seat, enjoying the plush leather in Sokka’s sports car. Her brother turned on the radio to some classic rock and he began singing away to a song she didn’t know. She ran her fingers over _Médecins Sans Frontières_ , her heart pounding in her chest as if it was some sign. She relished in the thought, _My name is Katara and I work for Doctors Without Borders_ , her heart racing even faster as it felt like it could be her reality. As Sokka drove, she thought about all the people she could help--that would really need her. How was it that she never thought about MSF before? She always felt like she needed to work in a hospital, but this business card proved that there was something else out there…

Her phone buzzed again and she opened the text message from Aang. 

**Katara? Is Friday good? :)**

Her heart kept racing, but this time it wasn’t about feeling giddy about a future. As imaginative as she felt moments ago, she didn’t know what else to say.

**Yeah. Sounds great.**

Sometimes instead of fast forwarding to the future, she just wanted to hit pause.


End file.
